Let’s Jam!

Let’s Jam! is an interactive, field oriented exercise, aimed at encouraging everyone to get playing together.

I’d like to turn Let’s Jam into a business, which sets up and coaches private parties, and often is all set up on the street to get passersby playing.

Four phases:

Private events.

Public street jams.

I’m working on a kids’ album, free for download, and will make youtube tutorials for each part.
Then when I bring the jam to their school, we’ll all play our songs together.
I’ll record kids playing the parts at jams, and we’ll make a for-sale album with a million credits (all proceeds go to spreading the jam, volunteer performance).

The fourth agenda-
I’ll roam for street folk, asking if they’ll jam for a minute, then I’ll leave ’em with a harp, piano, or battery, so they’ll have a legit way to earn donations, rather than being limited to corrosive begging.

For more frequent events, please consider becoming a supporter on Patreon:


On Waking

I’m still hanging on to my mania (though it hides of activity until I start creating–if I get moving, look out!).
I work hard, often to give the crash the slip.  I don’t need to crash; crashing is just an attitude–the opposite of flying.
Keeping focused forward is kind of a challenge; like choosing to stay in a great dream–when you start to become aware that it’s in your imagination, and the costs and consequences of the suddenly real world weigh heavy.
It’s hard to feel that the dream is real and also that this world is real.

You can do it; hard things are fun.
By imagination is how we see all things:

-This world that feels so real with my phone in my hand, feels no less real than the other worlds I play in, some of which I completely create.

-Being in the habit of faith is vital.

-Please don’t throw away your other dreams, when in this one.

There’s great fun to be made here, it’s just that gravity’s way stronger.
When you carry your dream voyager attitude with you, throughout the day, it becomes clear that this life is a rich tapestry, but nearly a blank canvas–our attitude determines everything.
I seem to stay within the rules of play in all my visits, and I always look for gaps to push myself out through.

Taking back with me insight that seems dangerously close to confirmation bias,

I now feel, instead of just believe, that the one word that defines my view is play.
I feel like I’m dying when I let myself stop playing, and I love everything when I do.

Playing hurts, sometimes a lot, but it’s a no-brainer decision.
#play #choose #imagination #dreams #dreaming #stretching #mania #depression #attitude #pain #growth #hustle #functionalmanicdepressive

Big Chris, Little Chris

It was revealed to me, that I’m a cell making up a hand, that’s slapping into an almost unimaginably larger me, on the next level up.
Seeing the tear that exposes both realities, can be accomplished by seeing and focusing on everything at once (wide eyes).  On a daily basis we narrow our gaze and block everything else out, in order to focus and get the job done; a natural schizophrenia.
I’m a cell, but one that stands up to authority and goes my own way, despite the fact that my life choices cause and continue to cause me, immense pain.

I have similar programming to most, but with variations—there are things that are not the mainstream, but I’m very clearly the path to flourishing and avoidance of death.

I’m a cancer cell; without the resistance of all the other cells, I would likely change everything, and we’d die.
Cancer as we experience it, is the manifestation of normal and healthy mutating cells, adapting the body to an ever-changing environment, but without the properly balanced resistance of the body’s healthy cells. An imbalance toward cancer can be produced by either too much change in environment, creating amplified mutation, or it can be produced by a weakening of the mainstream cells.  
The alternative would be if mainstream cells dominated and eradicated mutative cells; without being able to mutate we would die.
I fix as I see fit, and you guys resist; we both get equally stronger and grow together.
Big Chris is as healthy as me, on this level, because here, I and my environment are dancing flawlessly.  And the little Chris’s that make up my body, are as healthy as me on this level because here, I and my environment are dancing flawlessly.  Little old me has the power to change an infinite number of levels bigger, and an infinite number of levels smaller, though I cannot directly perceive them.
I love you, with the way that I live, Big Chris and Little Chris, clearly I do.
“As above, so below.”
“It’s Turtles all the way down”
#Cancer #god #growth #love #balance #cancerislife #cells #mutation #change #psychedelic #tripping

​I Don’t Want To

Our only real instinct is to follow our desires. 

In nature, it served us well.  In a world of stiff competition for basic survival, and where reasoning had not yet been developed, intuition was the only option—if it feels good, do it; if it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it.

But in the Modern Age we’ve developed a myriad of ways to kill ourselves with excess. Our bodies would love nothing more than walking the thrilling path to pleasurable death.

Today, there are a host of individuals who have reasoned paths to their flourishing by supplying our death-urge.

As our reasoning and imaginative capacities developed, no longer could we follow what feels good, without careful consideration of the consequences.

The conflict between the will and the desires is the one of the toughest battles we wage.  A balanced proportion of will and desire can enable a miser to become a millionare, but an unhealthy will and desire can bring an all-powerful king to his knees.

Willpower is analogous to a muscle, and it is the tool which allows our weak brain to coax our bodies into action.  Our bodies avoid pain and follow pleasure in order to survive.  And our will can train that meat-bag, very similarly to training a dog. 

Stretch, reward, be consistent.

Practice doing something you don’t want to do, but that you choose to do, everyday. 

That’s what I’ve done, and now I do it with a fury. 

P.S.  Those movies about secret societies in which they ceremonially burn their hand or something, make a lot of sense to me—deciding that you are going to burn your hand, and then choosing to hold it there as it resists, would be an exercise in will overriding the body. 

Be careful; if you override all of your humanity, you’ll become a reptile. 

“Thank you, sir!  May I have another!” 
#Willpower #exercise #will #instinct #painpleasure #practice #grow #stretch #ambition #reptile


Myths have been defined as: Useful metaphors for working with the unknown.

No scientific knowledge is actually proved; merely disproved.  

Our positive view of what the world is, and how it functions, operates on pragmatic grounds.  After time with a working hypothesis, the tendency is to assume it to be a law. This ends the scientific endeavor prematurely, and can be avoided by simply recognizing the truth of science: it’s another set of myths.
Because I recognize the limitations of my own capacity to operate my mind and understand this world, I am a functional pragmatist.  I love myths, and I search for them across cultures and time.  I also recognize them for what they are, keeping them in their place, and allowing my sense of wonder to freely use the scientific method as a true scientist. 
It takes courage to walk without the false sense of security that certain knowledge provides, but when did we start choosing comfort and security over amazement and discovery?
#Myths #science #dogma #senseofwonder #knowledge #reason #courage #comfortzone #will 


If I get slightly less sleep than I want, repeatedly create, and fill my brain with positivity, I get a little off the chain.
The first time this teen-wolf action occurred, I had just started a business, was deep into philosophy during my junior year at UW, and had my 10 and 8 year old kids visiting for their month with me in July. “Time to expand your world-view, guys.”  We sailed to Canada and back, went biking and hiking, and they went with me, one a time, on service calls.  It was a fantastic finish.

Two weeks later, I was in jail, had a broken rib or two, and had my kids taken back by their mother.

After explaining to my kids the many virtues of courage and doing the right thing, even though it’s usually harder, I decided to call my mom.  Though she’s let herself get into the habit of being pretty mean and nasty, both to others and herself, I had largely made the decision to break contact with her in solidarity with my even further abused younger brother.  

I called her and said, “I stopped talking to you for a reason; you’re destructive, and I couldn’t deal with it.  I forgive you and want a relationship with you, but I need you to respect my boundaries.”

She agreed, and was moved to tears at me reconnecting with her.

I continued, “I’ve been rethinking a lot of things, lately.  And I feel pressured by dad’s side of family to believe that you’re crazy or something.  It’s possible that that your aggressive nature got them to label you as a monster, and any defense would add to their previously-held beliefs.”

Well, that undermining of the family’s party line, plus my silver-tongue, philosophical training, and ridiculous energy, led papa to justify attacking me and breaking two of my ribs, in front of my children.  Next to have me arrested for domestic violence, uniting with my grandfather to say that I attacked each of them.  Naturally the police didn’t like my panicked and trying to be strong attitude, so four of them beat the shit out of me, also in front of my kids.
Phew.  They’re gonna have some stories…
The event was used to leverage away all my custody and my tiny visitation time.
It’s been kind of a devastating five years.
Part of the time period has been learning to control my werewolf nature, and that has been an exciting journey.  I’ve done amazing thing and advanced in amazing ways, I only hope I get to pass down a bridle to Tyler and Jaina.
Jaina just became a teenager.
Look out,
#Hypomania #teenager #werewolf #overclocking #noncustodial #moms #dads #growth #courage #kids #passthetorch #nopolicerecord #falsecharges #policebrutality #dadbrutality #domesticviolence


Often, people can’t seem to break their routines.  Though it would be easily done, something prevents their change.
The world is in a constant state of change, so I doubt that it’s the culprit.  The body is always changing, and it’s effects are obvious.
The mind is changing, but we have the capacity to ignore that one.  In order to fulfill our wish for permanence, we leverage where we can.  Willful ignorance wouldn’t seem real without imagining that it was not chosen.

And thus our self-hypnosis begins—the unfortunate aim is self-delusion and schizophrenia.
We are what we habituate.

Hypnotize yourself often with positive thinking, or let your lower, reptilian brain control you…
#MyReprogramming #Impermanence #avidya #ignorance #hypnosis #self–hypnosis #mind

A Failure

I’ve made peace with a dirty and long-hidden side of myself—my unconscious will to failure.

When things get really stressful, a part of me wants to crumble.
I understand why I would have this emotion.  This is my devil.
Succeeding takes enormous investment, while giving up requires no more. 

Success involves stress and painful growth, while turning a blind eye does not.

Becoming a master consists of setting ever loftier goals as achievements are made, while coasting or descending trades hard work for easy pleasure.
If you’re a utilitarian, you might look at this side-by-side comparison and vote for higher-pleasure failure.  But if you look further into the future, you’d note that, though initially worse, success offers more and higher quality pleasure.  
Work renews the body, mind and spirit, while idling breeds weakness, senility, and apathy.

Failure ceases the need and desire to work, and without working we become weak.  When we stop creating and aspiring, playing as God incarnate, we become our alternate persona: a devolved weak devil, bent on death.
Additionally, we find comfort in failure because it’s the only way we’ve ever learned or grown.  An appropriate mix of success and failure is required for a great life.
So it seems our wires are crossed; success and failure both offer pleasure. You can reprogram your will to reincentivise success and decentivise failure, or you can exercise your will to handle the conflict.  I suggest both.
Don’t believe me; think.


#Reprogramming #success #failure #comfort #faith #science #religion #willpower #devil #god #create #creator #creative